By the Hand of Fate (Destiny's Decree)
by Lady Eclipse
Summary: A deep look into the intense and uncertain relationship between a former queen and a battle waried soldier. "Ours is a strange love, it always has been."
1. Default Chapter

By the Hand of Fate   
(Destiny's Decree)   
  
Written By: Lady Eclipse   
  
  
  
The phantom wind pulls at my hair like a rouge child begging for attention. It is   
bitter in its game biting at all of my exposed flesh but I do not feel it. The cold breeze   
attracts none of my attention as does my surroundings fail to register in my mind. The   
streetlights and buildings pass me by in a solemn procession winking with fading lights.   
Yet I could not tell you what they looked like nor what they held, I know only that I am   
passing them, that they are there.   
My numb fingers grip a much abused satchel that contains some important   
document or other. I wasn't really paying attention to what they said it was for or why it   
was needed so urgently by a recipient across town. All that I cared was that it provided   
an excuse to leave that cage-like office if only for a moment. It was easy to avoid being   
trapped into a limo or some secure cab, they were all so busy that my promise to provide   
one for myself was enough. I had always been such a reasonable, good girl in the past....   
I rushed out of the building swiftly in fear that they would catch on to my rouse,   
but the latest political upset of a shuttle bombing kept them far too busy to notice such   
trivial details. It has been so long since I have walked by myself, I have almost forgotten   
what a luxurious feeling being alone is. There hasn't been a time since I was fifteen that I   
haven't been dubiously guarded, watched over, baby-sat, or whatever title they like to   
assume for the role of making sure that the symbol of peace doesn't die or do anything   
foolish. I would laugh at my predicament if it wasn't so painful and confusing. What a   
strange feeling to love and hate the same thing. I have loved my position as the one to   
lead the world to peace and have loved working tirelessly to preserve it. Yet, I find   
myself seething with resentment and hatred toward some of the inevitable aspects that   
goes with it. I so hate for the world to clamor so mindlessly for my words caring only   
that they come from my lips. I hate that they growl and nip at me in an endless hunger for   
solely what they want. They act like starving dogs grown mean in their discomfort. They   
all look to me for whatever answer then attack ruthlessly when my answers don't meet   
their desires. Yet, I mustn't forget all those who truly care for the earth and colonies and   
are eager to work with me to help better them in any way possible. For them I must   
persevere and ignore the lap dogs of greed.   
A very strange feeling indeed, I would laugh....he probably is laughing too at the   
irony of it. He always knew me so well. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons that I   
am so drawn to him, he was one of the few people that didn't give a damn about my   
money or name. I could tell in his smile that who I was wasn't the only reason he   
protected me. His smile gave him away. I never said anything, I never had to. There has   
always been a strange bond that exists between us. We understand each other as though   
we were one person. I guess that feeling of intimacy should scare me or make me lonely   
because he isn't here with me. However, it comforts me. I know that he is out there   
watching over me from the shadows, forever drawn to me as I to him. He knows that I   
love him as I know that he loves me, it is a strange love. It always has been. Whether our   
love is to be consummated or remain suspended in secrecy only time will tell but I know   
that no matter what happens it will always exist with the same intensity and purity that it   
has always retained. Life's path carries us along whether it is our choice or not to follow   
it; that is the game of fate. Fate has crossed our roads like a chain forever weaving in and   
out of itself; so too do we meet and leave each other in a timeless dance of eternity. For   
now, that is enough. To know that he is out there will continue giving me strength to face   
the hungry dogs of politics with a placating smile. I shall continue willing myself to my   
gilded cage to comfort the masses that all is well in the glass palace of peace.   
  
I finally pause in my wanderings to take in my surroundings, no matter how   
enjoyable my spurt of freedom is I cannot forget that I have a purpose. The documents   
must be delivered. The area around me is run down and dingy with time. People walk by   
in a sullen silence clutching close their coats about themselves with their eyes trained   
firmly on their individual destinations. I glance at a street sign and try to assert my   
location. The name sounds unfamiliar but that doesn't bother me, I can always turn   
around and retrace my steps to a location more familiar. I am about to do so when I hear   
my name uttered in a low, expressionless voice. I do not need to turn around to identify   
its owner. Heero. I smile inwardly as I turn around to face him. He looks as he always   
has standing before me with an immovable confidence and self assurance laced with a   
vulnerability invisible to all but myself; I know him too well.   
"Heero." I say softly.   
"You shouldn't be here by yourself, this is a bad place to be alone in." He says,   
his eyes filled with reprimand. I half shrug,   
"It's not that bad, I was just about to leave anyway."   
"Where is your ride?" His bluntness never surprises me, I rather enjoy it.   
"I don't have one, I felt like walking."   
"Hn." His eyes narrow thoughtfully. He stood studying me for a moment,   
possibly trying to ascertain what to do with me and my carelessness. "Where are you   
going?"   
"The L2 embassy on South Bask Street." He merely nods and turns his head to   
examine the street sign I had looked to moments before.   
"You're going the wrong way," He commented before walking away down a side   
street. "Come on, it's this way." I smile outwardly this time unable to confine my   
amusement as I follow him as ordered. I manage to catch up to him to walk by his side   
shrouded in a comfortable silence. I allow myself the occasional side glance to mark on   
how he's grown and take in his presence to seal away within my heart.   
"Why did you leave without an escort." His tone surprises me, it's not as even as   
it usually is. I turn to look at him, searching his glassy eyes for the uncertainty that   
momentarily lingered in his voice.   
"I just felt like walking....alone." He glances at me sideways,   
"With all of the political upset lately it is too dangerous for luxuries."   
"I know." I reply ruefully with downcast eyes.   
"Then why are you taking these risks?"   
"I guess I've always had a flare for danger." I reply with a laugh earning an   
amused smirk from him.   
"I remember."   
  
It doesn't take long for us to reach the appropriate location with Heero in the lead   
taking the fastest possible route. Heero paused in front of the tall, iron gates of the   
embassy just a few feet away from the piercing light that surrounds it to deter intruders. I   
stop as well and look at him curiously,   
"You're not coming, are you?"   
"No, this is no place for someone like me. You should be fine from here." I hold   
back my disappointment admirably,   
"Thank you for escorting me here." I am tempted to offer him my hand or   
something to that extent but I am uncertain how he feels about physical contact. I turn to   
leave, hesitant in my actions, unwilling to go. He reaches out and grabs my hand, I stop   
and turn to face him, my heart pounding wildly.   
"Take a car on your way back, it's safer." I nod and smile reassuringly at him. I   
may lie to the others from time to time, but I won't lie to him; I can't. The uncertainty   
returns to his eyes as he looks down to where his hand clutches mine. Something   
whimsical flickers across his Prussian depths before fading again into those bottomless   
pools. Intrigued I shift my hand so that my fingers wrap around his. Surprise echoes   
upon his smooth features briefly before he masters himself. He looks up sharply at me,   
uncertainty and curiosity burning within him.   
"You take care yourself." I say in almost a whisper. A half-smile plays upon his   
lips softening his normally stoic features. It is a smile he reserves for me; whimsical and   
longing imagining would could be if only we weren't known. After an eternal moment he   
draws me close tucking an index finger underneath my chin to angle it upward. We share   
a deep and secretive kiss hidden by the comfortable darkness of the clouded evening.   
Even the moon far above is reluctant to show her face in fear of betraying us star-crossed   
lovers. We part for air and use the time to gaze into each other's eyes; memorizing each   
other to sustain us during our time apart. The burning stars dancing upon the veiled   
velvet of the night looks on keeping our secret as it always has for so many countless   
other nights. This was not our first kiss nor would it be our last; his kisses never said   
good-bye. Heero always refuses to say good-bye to me in whatever form. He will never   
let me go, nor will I ever leave.   
Upon the hailing of the sleepy guard, only now noticing our shadows, we part   
with a lasting communion of gazes. I proudly stride into the embassy lights to identify   
myself while he disappears into the shadows.   
  
Ours is a strange love, it always has been. Destiny had brought us together and   
fate would keep us apart. Until the ever changing web of necessity that is the mixture of   
fate and destiny strangely entwined like fluttering ribbons releases us of its pattern we   
will meet and leave each other in this endless dance of eternity. We will love each other   
in the blackness of night bowing our heads to the dawn to resume the roles that were   
assigned to us.   
One day, when my wearied soul is released from its tireless struggles and the   
world no longer needs me, I will run into the night, to you, and never come back. That is   
my promise, my final note of destiny, my reward. Hold fast our sacred love my battered   
soldier. There may be an ocean between us, but it shall not keep me away from you   
forever. I will brave the thrashing waves of society and storms of unsupported   
righteousness guided by the brilliant light of your heart. One day.....I will.....   
  
  
~There's an ocean between us   
You know where to find me   
You reach out and touch me   
I feel you in my own heart   
More than a life time still goes on forever   
But it helps to remember you're only an ocean away.~   
"Only an Ocean Away"   
As sung by Sarah Brightman   
  
________________________________________________________________________   
  
  
This, of all the stories I have written, most reflects my opinion of the relationship between   
Heero and Relena. After countless hours of reflection and tireless analysis of the series   
and OAV I have come to the conclusion expressed in the above story. Thank you for   
reading and feel free to write. I would love a debate, but do not flame me with no   
intention of letting me defend myself. Everyone is free to have their own opinion, please   
respect that right as I respect the rights of others.   
Yours,   
Lady Eclipse 


	2. Into the Darkness

Into the Darkness   
Written By: Lady Eclipse   
  
  
  
  
  
Restless, that has been the prevalent emotion in my life for quite some time now.   
However, it has steadily grown worse over the last few months. With every moment the   
pressing need to leave burns with a greater and greater intensity. Lately the infectious   
desire has begun to spill into my work; documents are left unsigned, meetings unattended.   
Strangely enough it doesn't bother me like is used to when I was younger, the simple tasks   
of office no longer held the life and death urgency that it used to have. When I was fresh   
to this job such acts would be scandalous to me, but now I am different. My melancholy   
has started to repress even my guilt about laziness with my work. In the beginning it was   
never so, the work was fascinating and invigorating. Everyday presented a new challenge   
to me, it invoked a new vigor to fight with everything I had to preserve peace. But   
now....now there are no life or death threats of war and conquest. The countless   
squirmishes are easily contained by the Preventers and other politicians eagerly stride   
forward with bright eyes and sincere voices proclaiming my legacy of peace. In my   
restlessness they have stepped forward to encourage the masses in my absence. Strange, I   
am still invigorated by the pursuit of peace, my blood still boils at the news of those who   
would destroy it. Yet, I feel an unusual dislocation from it all as though I were some old   
matriarch no longer needed but still seated upon her throne as an eternal symbol to the   
wide eyed youth and weathered veterans alike. They call me a legend and let me get   
away with whatever inconsistencies listening eagerly to my 'pearls of wisdom' whenever I   
should choose to drop them upon their patient ears.   
Yes, finally, the princess of peace has lost her use within this ever changing   
world. I am revered and respected but my passionate words and my heroic risks have   
long ago ceased to be needed. I sit upon my throne in a glass palace of peace that is no   
longer so fragile.   
  
I smile vaguely as I stare out the window of my office at the softening hues of   
sunset. Those closest to me who knew me before I became famous know the cause of my   
restlessness. They know, as I have told them and they probably had already guessed, that   
my time withering in the blinding spotlight of the public is coming to an end.   
  
  
Destiny calls.   
  
  
The sun is setting scorching the sky and earth in brilliant, flaming hues as it slips   
below the horizon for its well earned rest. I smile as I watch the fading light knowing   
well its thoughts. I have been the dawn stretching forth the uncertain rays of my ideals   
across the darkened landscape. I have been the piercing mid-day sun blinding my   
enemies with my intensity and gathering increasing support from all those that I touch.   
And now....now I must become the inevitable; I must be the sunset. That time which I   
have secretly longed for for several years now as become a reality. The people have   
accepted peace and now work together to maintain it. I am not needed. Now, as the   
weary sun slips into its retirement, so may I finally rest from my toils and fade into the   
shadows. I may run into the darkness and into the waiting arms of my patient love who   
has waited for such a long time. We have loved in the blackest of night never daring to   
let the light see our passion. We have kissed in the shadows of our secrecy as the world   
looked on in ignorance. My soul has burned in the relentless flames of suppressed love as   
has his waiting for the day when I can stop being a symbol.   
  
Taking in a deep breath I turn away from the window. The sun is gone leaving   
only a trace of its presence in the soft glow of the new, rising moon. A soft smile crosses   
my lips as I glance down on my neat, mahogany desk. It has been stripped of all personal   
items leaving only a plain, white envelope sitting squarely in the middle of its massive   
surface. I left no name on it of whom it should go to, anyone can read it. The letter's twin   
is now on its way to the office of the ESSUN president and that will be that. There will   
be no protest or admonishments for I will be gone when they find it. I can no longer deny   
my heart. I had closed off that part which is most vital to me in order to serve the people   
who I am ready to die for; I have played mother to the entire human race. But no longer,   
even the great 'Queen Relena' has needs and emotions. I have played my part in the ever-  
twisting web of fate and now I am ready for my rest, my own personal peace. I have   
fulfilled fate, now I must fulfill my destiny; the culmination of our sacred love. I am   
finally able to surrender myself, my soul, to him. I am finally free to give him all of   
myself. A love like ours is far too intense to be shared with the any other passion. Now   
that the world and space is at rest I may now dedicate myself to him, to us.   
  
I swiftly exit my office, my precise clicking steps echoing on the tile floors. In   
mere moments I am gone from my confinement and am eagerly striding forward into the   
new night. Once again I am walking alone in the darkness with no one aware of my   
location....maybe one. I pause in my steps to glance up at the rising moon, its gentle light   
sprinkling down upon the pavement settling it aglow like star-studded sand. How many   
nights has it looked down upon our hidden love and shared our secret kisses? How long   
has it mournfully held our secret and cried with us when our longing for each other grew   
too intense? Oh Mistress Moon, you are the bearer of a million secrets; none to be ever   
spoken. But now you may release this one painful burden, this secret is no longer to be   
mournful, it is to be cherished. I am finally free to be swallowed by the darkness and   
disappear.   
I reach my apartment building and waste no time in hurrying up to my little   
sanctuary. After entering my darkened apartment I shut the door securely behind me and   
carelessly drop my belongings on the nearest surface. I am about to turn on a light when I   
feel something brush the back of my exposed neck. I move my hand to casually brush the   
area and nearly cry out in surprise when it is firmly caught and held by something strong   
and warm. I feel fingers curl around my hand bringing it forward to my stomach; an   
excuse to wrap the arm attached around my waist. I smile and reach my other hand up to   
touch the face that rests on my shoulder.   
"You're late." He murmurs in his usual deep voice that has been forever burned   
into my memory.   
"I know." I whisper softly back to him, "I had a few things to finish up at work."   
"Everything's settled?"   
"Yes." My enthusiasm and relief had never shown so much as in that one word.   
"Are you ready?" His lips delicately brush my ear sending a shiver through my   
spine.   
"I've been ready for quite a long time now." I reply. I can feel him smiling as you   
feel when a cloud moves away from the sun to brighten the shadowed earth. His arm   
pulls me back against his solid form in a tight embrace.   
"Let's go." Do you believe that there is a state of emotion that goes beyond all   
words or actions? Do you believe that there is a state of joy too intense to be described of   
vocalized even should you be give a poet's tongue and a thousand years to dwell on it.   
Have you ever had an emotion that causes you to cry as though your very soul has been   
pierced because should you try to hold in that emotion it would destroy you with his   
blazing intensity. An emotion such as that and more that can only be said as the highest   
level of happiness and love is what passed through my frail human body at that moment.   
I would have gladly burned in the heat of it for the rest of eternity, and I am amazed and   
awed by some subtle thought in the back of my mind that it gets better. As I begin to   
make the motions of gathering up the rest of my most treasured belongings to take with   
me he literally sweeps me off of my feet and into his arms. In the faint light of our   
confidant, the silver moon, I can see the barest of outlines of his face and am uncertain if   
the gleam I see in his eyes are his tears or my own. "I've taken care of it." He says in   
reference to my things and with that we take our leave of the cozy apartment that has   
served me so well and of the blinding light of society. The velvet folds of the serene   
night swallows us never to be seen again. Only a choice few will ever know where the   
beloved sovereign of peace disappeared to with her shadowed soldier of space.   
  
*   
  
  
Well into the shinning light of the next morning Milliardo silently entered   
Relena's unlocked apartment. Although still furnished, that which was dear to his little   
sister was gone. He knew it well before he ever set foot into the building after hearing   
about her formal resignation. He smiled to himself as he laid eyes on a white envelope   
resting upon a picture frame accompanied by a single red rose. Milliardo carefully read   
the letter and his smile grew. He fondly brushed his finger tips on the smooth glass   
protecting a faded photograph of Relena and himself as children hugging each other.   
The chaos her disappearance would cause would inevitably be a headache but it would be   
worth it knowing that she was well and that she was happy. He knew better than to worry   
that Relena would completely cut herself off from those she cared for and loved.   
"Good luck." He whispered before shutting the door.   
  
  
  
________________________________________________________________________   
  
A short ending, but to write more would have ruined it. This will be the end of this for   
Heero would kill me if I told you more. However, I have been toying with the notion of   
writing his point of view of the earlier events although that will be a long time coming. It   
is surprisingly hard to get into his head and accurately vocalize his thoughts. I must say   
that I am proud of myself on this one for I had feared that after all of the time and energy   
spent on the first chapter that this one would sound trite and repetitive. I flatter myself   
but I hope that it is as good as the first one.   
  
Thanks you for reading,   
Lady Eclipse   
"To die in the heart of love is the greatest reward and treasure one could ever know."  



End file.
